This is the post I was writing when I realized that I had never posted this post! Sometimes my drafts get out of hand, and also it just confirms the fact that when I get out of routine, I get sloppy! (This will be post two of three in a series where I get a few things off my chest. Once they are all available, they will be here: one, two, three).
Also, I want to apologize, as I accidentally put a jump break in my last post, which then truncates it on the main page of my blog and on the Feedly feed. I did not mention this in my peeves post, but this is another of my peeves! When I am reading in Feedly, I don't want to have to click a link; I want to see the entire post and sometimes if they are truncated, I pass on them. So it should be fixed now! Okay, carrying on.
I am out of the groove again. Let me explain. A couple of weeks ago, I did an eight day hike where I had no service or internet and it was wonderful. I saw some beautiful views, ate lots of ramen noodles, and got to lie in my tent with the stars above my head most nights. Before that, I was in faster travel mode, and I went to four different places in three weeks. What this means is that usually I am in the place for 3-6 days with a day of travel in between each one. This makes it kind of hard to get into a groove, as it involves a lot of packing and unpacking, sitting on buses and looking up what to do and see in each new place, but I did try to run a few times a week, sightsee a few times a week, and hit up some of the historical places.
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| This is where Franz Ferdinand was shot and killed |
However, this faster travel followed by the off the grid hike, along with the prep and the aftermath of the hike, has caused me to get out of the groove that I was starting to get into (you may remember from my last post that I wanted to start running three times a week; in the first three weeks of July, I did just that!). Then I returned from the hike and I have hundreds of unread emails, Feedly posts and things on my to do list to get done. Instead of tackling them head on, I feel no motivation to get started. I want to just mark all as read, but that is not really my personality (upholder here!). I have to touch it and look at it and read it, and then if I read it, I have to comment on it, and then I have to return to see if there is a reply... sigh. In addition, I am now in a new place again and so want to see the sights and try the foods and walk the streets, but sometimes it is hard to find a good mix of relaxing and exploring.
I know this is a first world problem, and some of you have kids and jobs and real problems to juggle and this probably sounds like complaining, but it is not. It is just a comment about the lack of routine in my life at the moment, and a expression of how that can often be a little discombobulating. However, I can happily say that none of this stresses me out. I remember days when I was in my 20s and I was going to school from 7 am to 1 pm and then working from 2 pm to 10 pm and then coming home and having a glass of wine or going out for drinks with coworkers to wash away the problems of the day. I don't do that anymore. My therapy is in wandering, taking photos, sitting in a park and watching people go about their days. My therapy is in researching and learning, in being curious. I find joy in that. However, sometimes I want to do nothing, but I feel guilty about that.
I actually wrote another post that I never published about commitment and guilt. The funny thing is that in this post I talk about my issues with doing things in order, and how I cannot read something from today without first reading the thing from yesterday, or how I cannot post something from today without first posting the thing from yesterday. Actually, now I am trying to decide whether I should post that post first, and wait on this one....but no. I will post that one out of order (the horror!) in a few days and link it here once it's done!
So, without giving away everything that I talked about in the commitment post (coming soon!) I will just say that I am behind on all things, and I am not running three times a week and I need to book some travel but am putting it off. I am out of my groove, and I want to get back into it, but am struggling to get back on the right track. And I will end this post here, with a few questions for you.
Do you get bogged down by "having to" complete tasks in order? Do you feel guilt when you don't want to do something, even when it is a self imposed task (or even a fun task sometimes)? Do you often feel like you need a vacation from your vacation?
Also, the Twenty Questions series is still going strong! Don't forget to fill out --> THE QUESTIONNAIRE!
